Talking with Teens

Today I was invited to come and speak to a class at Madison High School here in Rexburg. Um, scary. I have spoken on birthparent panels before where my audience was made up of other members of the church. Without having to explain too much,t hey understood why I felt the kind of family outlined in The Family: A Proclaimation to the World was important. We all shared the same basic beliefs and I could build on that.

I was excited about the opporttunity to share my experiences and lessons learned where they could ahve the greatest impact but when I left my apartment this morning I was begining to feel that nervous tension building in my stomach. I've never "prepared" a speech when speaking on this subject. I've just always let the spirit guide me and then answer questions to best of my ability.

What suprised me the most when I walked in the front doors of Madison High School was the appearance of the students. They were all so young! I don't remember looking or feeling that young at their ages. I was feeling the beginings of a generation gap. What common ground was I going to establish with these kids to show that what happened to me can happen to them?

The class would last an hour and the local case worker, Dale would explain his job and what his role in adoptions was and close by sharing a 8 minute video (the same one my mother had me watch). Then it was my turn. I sat trying not to fidget through Dale's presentation. I brought Monkey, some of my favorite pictures of Silas, and a smile. Once I was in front of the class, the panic I felt for a second when all eyes focused on me disappeared quickly. I talked about myself, explained my circumstances when I became pregnant, and what led to me decision to place. I passed out the pictures as I talked and explained the type of adoption I have and how things have been for since placement. I was honest. I answered questions and shared a few stories. I was suprised by how much I could explain about the adoption process outside of just my experiences. Before I knew it, class was over.

Afterwards, I felt on top of the world. It's funny how talking about the most heart-wrenching, life-changing time of your life can make you feel so good. I felt like I had left an impression. I remember from times past that you can gauge how well your presentation is going by the types of questions it pulls out of people. The kids were all attentive and had lots of comments and questions. I feel like the day was a success and, as usual, I makes me even more excited about the next opportunity to share with someone.

Grrrroup!

Okay, hands down one of my favorite things about Rexburg is the Birthparent Groups. Every Thursday I drive past downtown Rexburg and head to one of the local ward buildings. Our group is small but a lot of fun. I lvoe being able to hear about other birthmom's expereinces and learn the ways that their adoptions differ from mine. Of course we all think that adopted kids are the cutest! And just so easy to love. I've made some great friends there and felt so close to all the girls right from the very first meeting I attended.

We even have a unique member, Callie. She's an adoptive mother. Her little boy, Gideon will be turning one soon. It is so interesting to hear about things from her perspective, to really be able to gain some insight to the other side of adoption.

We always have treats (usually something chocolate) and always run into "overtime." Group meetings technically end by 8:30pm but I know the earliest we've ever wrapped things up was 9:00pm. There is just such a spirit and comarderie there that I haven't really felt anywhere except at LDSFA-FSA conferences. And at that I was the only birthmom that came so I was the panel! :)

I so wish we could have ahd something like this back home. In our area though everyone lives so far apart. We don't lack in numbers for birthparents but most of us would have to travel for at least an hour so it just isn't very practical. Oh how I'll miss these girls when I'm home!

First Presidency of the Church Announces Support for Adoption

In honor of National Adoption Month, the First Presidency has released the following statement:
The President of the United States of America, George W. Bush, has proclaimed the month of November as National Adoption Month. We endorse this proclamation and express our support of unwed parents who place their children for adoption in stable homes with a mother and a father. We also express our support of the married mothers and fathers who adopt these children.

Children are entitled to the blessing of being reared in a stable family environment where father and mother honor marital vows. Having a secure, nurturing, and consistent relationship with both a father and a mother is essential to a child’s well-being. When choosing adoption, unwed parents grant their children this most important blessing. Adoption is an unselfish, loving decision that blesses the child, birth parents, and adoptive parents in this life and throughout the eternities. We commend all those who strengthen children and families by promoting adoption.

For more information about LDS Family Services adoption services, please call 1-800-537-2229 or visit itsaboutlove.org