Adoption: A gift of life, a gift of love.

The following is the outline from/copy of my Introduction Speech on my adoption experience.

Introduction: Quote “The best thing you can give someone you love is a better future.”

Background: Over three years ago I learned that I was unexpectedly pregnant. I immediately fell in love with my unborn baby. But was that enough? Financially there was no way I could provide for a child. As much as I wanted to give the baby the world, I knew I would barely be able to provide food and shelter. I had so many things that I had hoped to give my family; a stable home with married parents being the foundation. The closer the due date got, the more I realized that I couldn’t do this on my own. I would love the opportunity and blessing of raising a child but I was not willing to do it at the child's expense. The plans I’d made for this baby began to crumble and I started looking at other options.

Main idea: Almost two years ago I made the hardest decision of my life. I chose to place my baby for adoption. That pivotal decision has lead to some of the greatest blessings and learning experiences in my life. I would like to share three with you.

First point: One thing I’ve learned is an understanding of true sacrifice and unconditional love. I think of adoption as a gift; a gift of life, a gift of love. I loved my baby enough that I decided to make the ultimate sacrifice. I would let him go. It wasn't about my wants anymore, it was about his needs. And he deserved so much more than what I could offer. I would give up everything so that he wouldn't have to give up anything. It took all the strength I could muster, the support of many loving people, and my faith in God to place Silas for adoption.

Second point: Another thing this experience has given me is the courage and strength to make changes and overcome many obstacles. Silas has helped give me the courage to once again pursue goals I had set for myself long ago. Returning to college is just one example of this. It was difficult and intimidating to make changes necessary to return to school. Moving forward was easy by comparison. I knew where I had been and knew where I wanted to go. After having the experiences I have had in my life, so many mountains become molehills; things previously insurmountable now seem perfectly attainable.

Third point: And lastly, being a birthmom is a huge part of who I am. Through my adoption experience, a desire to reach out to others in similar situations rooted itself deeply within me. With the help of my caseworker, I was able to speak at area conferences held on adoption and participated in birthparent panels. I shared my experience with and answered questions from perspective adoptive couples. Each time I spoke in front of them was exhilarating but I still felt the need to help other birthmothers. I began volunteering as a birthparent confidant. I loved the work and felt so uplifted every time I was able to answer a question, resolve a problem, or help another in some small way. I researched the requirements to become a licensed counselor. I changed my college major to Sociology and will later go on for my Masters in Behavioral Science. I find such peace and satisfaction in my work as a volunteer and speaker. I constantly learn something new about myself.

Conclusion: To sum up. Because of my adoption experience I am continuously confronted with chances to challenge myself to grow even more. I have learned a true understanding of sacrifice and love; gained the courage and strength to overcome obstacles, and found direction and purpose through working with others whose lives have been touched by adoption. I am so grateful for everything that has happened, both the good and bad. These experiences are what have help mold me into the person I am today. I have learned and continue to learn and grow from this experience; it is not something I regret. It is an experience I am grateful to have endured.

Quote: “Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never ever the same.” -Unknown

Public Speaking from the Heart

I delivered my speech last night to my Communications class. As expected, I cried. I am really proud of myself despite that because I didn't let it deter me from giving my speech. I was able to plug right along as if I wasn't crying. Points to me for professionalism! I felt the Spirit strongly as I spoke of my love and the sacrifice involved in adoption. I didn't feel nervous looking out at the audience. My voice stayd steady and I smiled through my tears. Some people were shocked by my story but most had eyes also glistening with tears. My professor even called a short break after I concluded so that she could pull herself back together. Hopefully making her cry isn't something that reflect poorly on my grade!

I was so scared and nervous as I prepared this speech. I wasn't sure how my message would be recieved. Now with it behind me I feel very blessed once again for the comfort of the Spirit and the strength gained throughout my previous experieces. I recieved a handful of compliments and was even given the chance to answer a few more specific questions during the break.

As always, I can't help by reiterate my previous thoughts: It is amazing how talking about the most heart-wrenching, life-altering time of my life can bring such joy and peace. I am grateful for opportunities such as this and hope I will continue to rise to the occassion.

A little piece of my heart

I started college classes again two weeks ago. I am taking Communications right now and I am loving the class. The instructor is also named Stephanie so we've developed a kinship over our shared name. I am pretty sure I'm the only student whose name she even knows! I am learning things in this class that I hadn't really expected. In my mind communications was just a fancy word for speech class. Wrong. I really feel like I am learning to analyze my listening and speech patterns to be able to communicate better with the world around me.

This particular class is one I have previously taken but failed due to poor attendance. When I was 6+ months pregnant, class didn't always feel like a high priority. At that time I was shy, sat far in the back, and shook terribly when having to deliver a speech. Now, I am more comfortable with myself, I speak up during discussions, I feel fine in front of the crowd, and have even developed some friendships. It is beautiful to see for myself my growth in such ways. I'm growing up! After having the experiences I have had in life, so many mountains become moehills. Things previously insurmountable now seem perfectly achievable.

One assignment for the class is an introduction speech. We are to do some "soul searching" and relate a speech centered on a person or event that has had a lasting impact on our life. Only one comes to mind for me. Silas. And everything that name encompasses: unconditional love, true sacrifice, the importance of family, the wisdom and beauty of adoption, and so much more. What else do I have to this point in my life that has had such a far-reaching affect? Caused such reformation and complete change of heart? Nothing compares as of yet.

The idea of speaking on something so personal and sacred scares me. Not the subject matter but the reception of the subject matter. I don't want to seem like I'm casting my pearls before swine. I'm struggling with determining how to present in such a way that my testimony is evident without being "overly religous."