Hello My Baby

Just a couple of weeks before my due date I finally chose a family. They fit all of the things that I was looking for but something just didn't feel right. I was still working on being able to recognize the influence of the Spirit in me life again so I just brushed the feeling aside. I thought it was probably just part of being emotional about the situation. I was feeling desperate to find this baby a home. From that point on it was whirlwind of preparation for the fast approaching birth. I wasn't able to tell Mark of my decision until a week later. At that point I had the option of contacting the family myself or allowing Mark to tell them the good news. I felt too nervous and emotional so I asked him to make the initial contact for me. A few days after that, Mark informed me that the family was praying about it and that they planned on going to the temple over the weekend for some added guidance. I waited anxiously to hear back and to know what the next steps would be.

The Friday before my due date I had what should have been my last appointment. The baby just wasn't ready yet to meet the rest of the world.The waiting was fast becoming the hardest part. As the weekend dragged on, I worried over everything. Why hadn't I heard back from Mark yet? What was happening with the family? Why won't this baby come? I even stressed over what day he would be born. My due date was July fourth. I didn't want Riley to live the rest of his life celebrating his birthday amongst fireworks. Sunday night I wasn't able to sleep a wink. I was up the entire night, pacing the floor and whining about contractions. Monday came and, to get some much needed relief, my mom took me swimming. For the first time in a very long time I didn't feel fat! Swimming was so relaxing, I felt sure I would get a good night's rest. Tuesday morning at 7:30am I reported back to the Doctor's office. I felt energized and revived from the full night of sleep. Swimming had done the trick. As soon as my doctor began my exam, she gave a little gasp of surprise. I was 4cm dilated and 100% effaced. She asked me if I was having contractions. When I confirmed that I was indeed, she smiled. I was in labor.

When the doctor sent us on our way to the hospital, we were well prepared. Mom and I had come to the appointment with our bags packed just in case. Out the door and off to the hospital we went. A quick phone call to my doula, Ann, and a voice message left for Mark. A short 30 minutes later I had been checked in, ushered upstairs, and redressed in the ugliest gown I had ever seen. The doctor examined me again and I had already reached 7cm. Things were moving along quickly. I was still a little shocked, the contractions I was feeling then were nothing compared to Sunday night's ordeal. I feel that I was really blessed both during delivery and throughout my pregnancy with very little physical pain. I had a long, hard emotional road ahead of me and I really feel that Heavenly Father helped ease my burden as far as physical pain. My doula arrived shortly after I was admitted and the clock started ticking.

In the midst of all the excitement my cell phone rang. It was Mark and he had bad news. The family I had chosen had declined adopting Riley. As stunning as it seemed, it was true. They had prayed long and hard about adopting but they felt very strongly that he wasn't meant for them. Not the best news to get before giving birth.
I was still trying to digest this unexpected news when my nurse signaled for me to get in the bed. It was time to push. At exactly 4:30pm on July 3rd, 2007, Riley James Carter came into the world. Face up.